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Remember the infamous “wardrobe malfunction” during Super Bowl XXXVIII? We’ll spare you the titillating details. More shocking then the “unintentional and regrettable” exposure of Janet Jackson is the fact that, after their rehearsals, the performers made a conscious decision “to have a costume reveal at the end of the halftime show.”  Janet just didn’t intend […]

Don’t ever ask a woman when she is due. Don’t assume she’s expecting, even if you’re at “Babies-R-Us” and she’s wearing a baggy t-shirt printed with a big arrow pointing to her bellybutton that says “BABY.” You know what they say about people who “assume,” don’t you? It makes an ASS out of U and […]

Have you ever been served dinner on the red plate? Not any old red plate, but THE Red Plate. You can get one on eBay: it’s simply a plate that says, “You Are Special Today,” that’s used to celebrate birthdays or achievements or just to cheer someone up. In our homes and in our companies, […]

World peace. Peace of mind. Give peace a chance. Ms. Jones probably feels rather unpeaceful about shopping for furniture. It’s going to cost her a lot of money. It’s going to take a lot of her time. She’s going to have to face off with salespeople who only want to sell her and delivery routers […]

Charity begins at home. Specifically, in Ms. Jones’ home. She gives her time, her talent and millions of her dollars to worthwhile causes at home and throughout the world. She cried, then sent cash to help the victims of September 11. She made cookies for a bake sale for tsunami relief.  She collected cleaning supplies […]

Remember Aunt Edna? The one who pinched your cheeks and mussed your hair every year at the annual reunion? You liked playing with her marble collection, and the awkward hug was the price of admission. Remember Uncle Frank? He grunted a gruff “howdy,” none too glad to have a bunch of rowdy kids running around […]

Homeland Security. Social Security. Security Systems. Security is our most basic human need. If we feel insecure we are unable to love, to work, to shop. Yes, to shop. Certainly you remember the uncertain anxiety in the days following 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. As a country, our entire sense of security was forever altered. Then […]

The average U.S. household has at least one TV set turned on for about seven hours a day. The average school-aged child spends 27 hours per week watching TV; typical adults spend over four and a half hours per day in front of the tube. Ms. Jones can even get a 15” LCD screen built […]

Ms. Jones loves Wal-Mart. Well, she likes the idea of Wal-Mart, even if she doesn’t like the company. She likes getting groceries and greeting cards, toys and toiletries, sporting goods and sportswear all at one place. Say what you will, Wal-Mart does offer selection! Do you tout your store as being a “one-stop” furniture store? […]